Suspended!

I have a friend who told me about her son (now a college student) and his visit to the principal's office on the first day of kindergarten. I think she told me about his to make me feel better about my rambunctious bunch. But, I think I topped her - my son was suspended from preschool for 2 weeks (1/27/09 - 2/9/09).

Okay, it's not because of bad behavior (even though he sometimes still has some adjustment/transition issues and some tantrums) but rather he pees when he takes a nap.

They have a rule about having so many accidents per so many days and lately, Austen has been having quite a few accidents while he sleeps. So, he was placed on suspension.

While we understand the hygiene and safety issues - I am at a loss as to how to "re-train" him while he sleeps. He is on a 2-week suspension where he can "train" at home. He can attend school with a chaperone (ME!). So, between Lad and I - we'll try to take him to school and stay for awhile. I think that I'll stay until naptime and have him nap at home. I've decided to try to limit his fluids and have him nap only for 45 minutes then wake him up and take him to the bathroom. I'm hoping this will help because after this, I have no ideas. Wish us luck!

In the meantime, Austen's been spending his days like this:


Edited 2/6/09 to add: Well, I've taken Austen to school this past week. Last week, he pretty much stayed at home because I had to prep for Chyler's party. But, this week I went on Monday, Tuesday and Friday. (Grandma took him on Thursday.) I think that he does very well in school. It's interesting to see him interact. During the day and his awake time - he doesn't usually have any problems with toileting. It's only when he sleeps. Sticking to my plan, he'd had about a week of dry naps and did get up to go to bathroom after 45 minutes, albeit reluctantly and with heavy coaxing.

On Tuesday we had another meeting for Austen to see how things were going during his suspension. They recommended taking him to the doctor to see if there's a physical reason that he has accidents while sleeping. When I called our ped, he said that he would run tests but that Austen is still on the young side and accidents happen at this age. So, we'll see if something turns up.

I asked the inevitable question - what happens to Austen if he ends his suspension weeks, goes back and still has this problem? Answer: We'll have to consider disenrollment. YIKES! We mentioned our plan B - to have him attend school until naptime and we'd pick him up to nap at home. Similar to what's been happening this week - he's been doing very well at this - so they said they would consider it.

Also at that meeting, they suggested having a psychological exam done to see why he has issues with only wanting to do things on his terms, tantrums, adjustments, transitions, etc. They believe as well as I that he doesn't have cognitive issues - he's pretty bright - but these other issues will hold him back from fully taking advantage of his education. He's heading to kindergarten and I can only wonder, will he have problems? He may...so how do I help him? I'm not sure. Should we spend $500 to have the test done? Will it help or give us insight? Lad and I are still talking about this.

'How do I help him?' That question is keeping me up at night - I toss and turn lately. I'm really bothered. I want him to be able to fully enjoy what learning has to offer - I believe school is fun. I don't want it to be tramatic. I don't want him to hurt socially, emotionally, educationally, etc. Austen's always been a pretty solitary kind of guy. He prefers to play alone or with 1 or 2 others at the most. Big groups, I think, intimidate him. He doesn't like to enter a big group situation. If it's an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people - that's even worse. Am I describing Kindergarten???

I worry...I'm even scared for him. He is such a happy kid - he's intuitive and a great problem solver. I believe that he is a natural leader regardless of how he appears. He recognizes a lot of things in people - like happiness or sadness - he reads people quite well. He always asks me 'why I'm laughing, why I'm sad, why I'm happy'...etc. He has all these great things to offer but will people just turn him off because they don't want to deal with all the adjustment issues he will have? I am at a complete loss as to how to help him with that.

So, for now - they will follow the same plan I had -- limit fluids, 45 minutes of nap, take him to the bathroom upon waking. So, I'm crossing my fingers...right now, I'm on the crossing fingers part of my plan.