Catching up and the mortification that potty training brings...

Austen's toilet training is getting better. He is still having a few accidents here and there but for the most part - those accidents consist of #1. So, he's pretty much a pro at #2. The only thing is that he always makes an announcement when he has to go and if you know Austen, the only volume is L-O-U-D. So, tonight - we were at a busy chinese restaurant having dinner and were about to leave when Austen yells, "I have to make doo-doo!" as he's standing right in the middle of the entire restaurant. Mind you, Lad is near the door and I am gathering Chyler and our things at the other end of the restaurant so we're on completely opposite sides with our dear son right in the middle. Lad and I looked across the room at each other completely mortified. I dared not look around but I just knew there were some offended and some snickering. But hey, it's better than a poopy diaper, right? As a parent, I'm finding that I have developed very thick skin.

Haven't blogged for more than a week now so I need to catch up. I wanted to write about how much I love our little morning routine. Chyler, our princess, does not do the crib. She loves our large, pillow-top king size bed with 400 thread count sheets. She knows exactly when we move her into her crib because she lets out a very disapproving wail almost immediately. So, for now due to need of sleep - we've cheated and relented. She's right there in the middle. It's called a "family bed" right??? Lad and I usually find ourselves on the opposite edges of the bed trying to find a comfy position. Chyler is only (almost) 8 months old but she is spread out to the very maximum that she can possibly be - who knew a little baby could take up so much room?! So every morning, I wake up to Chyler babbling away. I usually sing her a little song which I remember my Mom singing to me - "Good morning Chyler sunshine...how do you do today...you wake up all the flowers...and chase the stars away". Here's a video of me singing to Chyler - please EXCUSE my singing - babies don't care about your voice, right?! I'm the contestant on American Idol that Simon just thrashes! But, I have the better sense not to even attempt public humiliation like that. Or maybe I do since I uploaded a video of me singing...hmmmm...


Good Morning Chyler! from Mari Panis on Vimeo.

Then, Brennen usually waddles in because he's our early riser - throws his shirt up on the bed and climbs up. He usually lays down next to her and says "ood ornin' Waiwer" and then hugs her and holds her hand. On this particular morning, Brennen got Chyler's heel in the face so he's saying, "Mommy eye" and pushing her a bit.




Brennen's Morning Greetings from Mari Panis on Vimeo.

Then, we went to the Family Fun Fair at Magic Island. The kids LOVE the carnival. Brennen is at the age of wanting to do everything his brothers do and this included doing all the rides. They did the merry-go-round which he loved. Then, we hit the airplane that went up and down in a circular motion. He sat next to me but told me that he was scared. So, I thought he wouldn't want to do the roller-coaster but he did...and he said he liked it. I guess he's like Dallen who doesn't like up and down rides but he loves roller-coasters! Chyler was pretty bored the whole time but liked the lights for awhile - then, she fell asleep. We have a single jogging stroller which maneuvers like a breeze on grassy terrain and it has a nice foot-thingy at the end which is perfect for Brennen to sit on - so who needs a double stroller?

Lastly, since Austen has made such strides at preschool - not crying and not wetting his pants for several days - we promised to take him to Chuck E. Cheese. He was so excited he didn't even care that he was wearing two different slippers. His brothers loved it too! They loved the climbing contraption - we love it because it's FREE - but Brennen liked the climb but didn't like the long tube slide down so he climbed back down instead.

More blogs I enjoy

I found a few more blogs that I like which I added to my links on the left:

And they wonder why
The Customer is not always right
Passive Agressive Notes
The Spunky Coconut - a recipe blog and the food looks yummy!

Conference outcome

We met with the "team" for Austen today. I think it was productive. I finally heard some positive things about Austen and his daily doings. Apparently, once he stops tantruming or running away - he enjoys listening to stories, singing, and playing with "manipulatives" ie. blocks, puzzles, etc. (HAHA - I always get a laugh at the educated when they start using the seemingly educated language. Manipulatives? Why can't you say blocks? Or puzzles?) Anyway, he plays well with others. Shares. Participates. Apparently he is a very smart boy as they kept on saying.

Basically, the meeting's goal was to find out for sure if Austen acts out in the ways he has been acting out on a normal basis. Does he run away? Does he cry? Will he not listen to you when he is in his tantrum mode? Yes, yes, yes!

Austen in tantrum mode = uncontrollable crying, some screaming, he won't answer or talk to you, lying on the floor, running away, and he will not allow you to console him or hold him. When he is in his "mode", get ready, because it will be long and strong!

On the other hand, when he is compliant and happy - he will participate and attend to activities in the same manner. Long and strong. Which we know he does because he can play with his trains by himself for a very long time.

So, knowing that - the "team" got a plan in place of how they can help him.

• Give him forewarnings - "we have 5 more minutes until clean up".
• Do the First, Then - "first we need to clear the table, then we can have puzzle time".
• Have a visual schedule on the wall - pictures to show the kids what's next.
• I added, make sure he hears you - get his attention and have him answer you stating that he understands that he'll need to clean up in 5 minutes.
• If he needs to be taken out of the classroom to cool down, another teacher/aide will come into assist in the classroom.
• Most importantly, give him time to adapt to his surroundings and the new people. They agreed that time would probably make the most difference.

Today, when I picked him up - he was already in his extended day program. I think he really loves this program because it's all pretty fun, hands on activities which is right up his alley. They do puzzles, blocks, water, books, sand - a little bit of everything. Plus, his extended day teacher is very warm - very "aunty" if you know what I mean. She sang his praises when I picked him up - told me that he did so well today, no problems. She noticed that he felt more comfortable with her than the other aide so she told me that she would take the lead where it came to Austen until he gets used to the others. She really was so nice and friendly. I can tell Austen likes her the best - he even gave her a hug goodbye. Very rare for Austen to hug "strangers"!

So today was a good day for Austen. We'll see if he's making a turn for the better. Hopefully he gets used to things soon because I know he enjoys preschool and being with other kids. Cross your fingers for tomorrow!

I'm a little irked.

GRIPE #1: Austen is having a difficult time "blending" with his new class at Kamehameha. Over the sporadic "get to know you" time at preschool the last 2 weeks, everyday I picked him up his teacher would give me the report. "Austen didn't want to come sit down. Then he ran away from us. Austen didn't want to clean his area. Austen had a bit a tantrum...how do you deal with that? What do you do? What does it mean? Austen doesn't want to talk to us. Austen peed in his pants today." Austen this, Austen that...and he hadn't gone to school all day yet. We got called 2 times to "talk" more about Austen and his behaviors over the 6 half-days he was there.

Fast forward to today which was his first full day of preschool. Everything was going well, it seemed, until we got a call at 1:30pm. School ends at 2:00pm. Lad took the call. "Austen is getting up but he's kind of starting to cry, is this normal?" Lad tells the teacher that Austen is normally a grouchy "waker upper". At this point, he hadn't had an accident. So, I decided to go pick him up early instead of sending him to his extended day program which is like afterschool care where they do more outside play. Apparently in the last 30 minutes, he peed in his pants twice because he was getting more an more agitated.

Anyway, long story short - they want to call a meeting with us, the preschool teacher, extended care teacher, principal, counselor, and outreach person to discuss Austen. So, we're set to meet with them tomorrow.

I guess my problem is that we seem to get a list of issues regarding Austen from the school everyday. They say that they bring it up because they are concerned. I believe that they are but as a parent, it's hard to hear that your child is almost nothing but trouble everyday. "What can we do to make Austen's preschool time better??", they ask. I know Austen is a handful. I know that he's difficult. I'm his mother for goodness sake! I've seen it all and experienced it all with him. Both Lad and I think that they really need to give him time to adjust. The fact that they bring all this stuff up to us makes us stressed out, which in turn makes Austen stressed out because we feel we need to talk to him about his behaviors. Today, they kept on telling me that Austen is so mad. "Why is he so mad? We need to know that from you. Why is he so mad??" My point is that Austen is 4. He's in a new place with new people and normally takes awhile to warm up to people and new situations. The way Austen handles his stress and anxiety is to act out by crying, whining, and running away from what he sees as the "threat". He did this at his other preschools but both preschools just seemed to go with the flow, console him when they could and most importantly, they gave him time. Eventually, he became familiar with the staff and surroundings and was a perfectly normal preschooler. This was his first full day and here we are on the eve of a parent conference with the principal and counselor. I think it's a little much...but I could be wrong. They kept telling me that this meeting wasn't about disenrollment...heck, I wasn't even thinking that! Wow!

GRIPE #2: We had Stake Conference on Sunday and I brought some things for the kids to occupy themselves during the 2 hours. Quickly we found a couple more kids around us which is fine - I really don't have a problem with that - I think it gives my kids an opportunity to share. My problem with the whole thing is that not once did their parents come to check on their kids - one girl was there for a good 30-45 minutes before wandering away and not once did her parents come by to check on her. Do they think that there are free babysitters at Stake Conference? Heck, I'd like to send my kids off to someone else so I can watch conference in peace too. I was talking with Lad about this and his solution - don't bring anything so no one will come around. I told him that's not the point - it's the fact that these kids' parents didn't even have the courtesy to come by to check up on their kids. Doing that would have made it all ok...the fact that it didn't really irked me. Not too Christlike I know...lot of pettiness on my part that I feel bad about but I would totally be checking up on my kids and I don't think I would let them be with perfect strangers for that long! I would feel really bad for the strangers...

Aaah, we're going nuts!

Our family has entered the realm of multiple child activities. And it's a killer! Austen started soccer and Dallen has both baseball and soccer going on at the same time! Yikes! What does this mean? Well, it means that all the work I did over summer break trying to get rid of my shirt tan was for naught...

Austen started soccer on August 2, 2008. His team's name is RED HEAT! He's a young player. I think the cutoff birthdate was in mid-July and he's mid-May so he just made 4. I'm not sure how old the other kids are on his team and on others but "watching" him has been a challenge. It could be his age or it could be his difficult time adapting to new people and situations but he absolutely refuses to do anything in the game. What they do for the young kids is to gather them up a half hour prior to the game for a "practice" and then they play. They have no weekday practices. The first game day we got there to meet his team and get his uniform. He didn't want to even put on his uniform or stay near the team. The next week, I had to run around the field holding his hand trying to get him to kick the ball. He did kick it a few times only if there was no one else around him. This last game he stood on the field just inside of the white lines and watched his teammates run back and forth - he could have been watching tennis for all we know. He says he wants to play soccer and when I ask him if he wants to leave he always says "no". I'm not sure - all I know is the sun is hot and the day is long! He is also saying he wants to play baseball - OH BOY!


Dallen started soccer on August 16th. His team's name is GANGREEN. He totally enjoys soccer - it's his favorite sport. This year his team sports very bright green jerseys. The great thing about that is that we can easily spot his team on the field. At least they don't have the matching bright green socks. He has practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays and games on Saturday. He played very well on Saturday - was one of the more agressive players. Lad jokes with him that he looks like Yao Ming next to all of his shorter teammates. Dallen has always been tall for his age - he's only about a head shorter than me at 7 years old. Lad tells him that he's so big he should roll over all the other kids. Dallen tells him that would be a penalty. Dallen is also playing summer baseball for the Yankees. He has practice on Wednesdays and Fridays - has midweek games and Saturday games. He goes to baseball more willingly even though it's not his thing...my good, (for the most part) obedient child.


These later summer months have brought much activity and busyness to our lives. But, the kids are fun to have around. Here are some fun pictures...top left, Chyler with a burp cloth on her head because I failed to bring any type of shelter while we sat in the hot sun watching Dallen's soccer game on Saturday. Poor thing! Top right, Brennen cooling off in the inflatable pool. His latest thing is pouring water on his head. He thinks that's a hoot! Bottom left, Dallen and Austen before Austen's "big" first game. Bottom right, the only reason Dallen plays baseball. Reward for his obedience? Video game time. He couldn't even wait to get into the house to play. I think he stayed fully dressed in his "hot" baseball gear on the steps for more than an hour.

Jumbled thoughts...

On Sunday, we were sitting in the back of the chapel again in "our" pew. Right after sacrament, Brennen is pointing and he said "Daddy peeping". I said, "yes, that's Daddy up there". He knew I wasn't really listening to him and he said again, "Mommy, Daddy peeping" with his finger pointing to the stand. I look up and Lad's head was nodding...yet again...and knew exactly what he was saying. I said, "Yes, Brennen Daddy is sleeping." I was chuckling to myself and I think those around us must have been chuckling too.

Although getting up isn't my favorite thing in the world now days - I have to admit, I love to get up to seeing my kids. I wake up to Chyler gurgling and while on her back, her legs raising to a vertical position and crashing down on the mattress. Then, Austen and Brennen climbing on the bed to see her too. May I never forget Brennen throwing his black shirts (2 of them) up on the bed first then hoisting himself up and climbing up the mountain which is our HIGH king size bed. They both speak to Chyler in their high pitched voice - Brennen saying "Ood ormin Waiwer". She gives them both a big smile with more leg crashes. Then, 5 minutes later - I remember that I really didn't want to get up yet...

I hate that I yell everyday. I start the day saying that I'll try not to and 1 hour into it, I usually have to make a new goal for tomorrow. I've desensitized my kids to my voice and now, they don't seem to respond unless the volume is loud. Either that or they're deaf. But, they always seem to hear me opening some cookie package...hmmmm...

It's amazing how laundry piles up on a daily basis. My boys seem perpetually dirty but they usually stay in the same clothes all day. Yet, the laundry still overflows in the basket everyday.

We bought some new couches for our family room and instead of paying $100 for delivery and removal, Lad decided to do it himself since he has a truck. So, over the course of a few weeks - he took out the old couches and brought in the new. He hasn't gotten around to taking the old couches to the dump so they have been conveniently placed on the side of our house for the last couple of weeks. Mind you, he didn't want to put them out on the curb for bulky pick-up because it looks "trashy". As opposed to what? Keeping them on the side of the house picking up dirt and being rained on everyday for weeks on end?! I've really felt ghetto for the past month or so...along with our screen door being all raggedy and Brennen using it as a curtain saying "I'm here!". G-H-E-T-T-O!! So tonight, he put them in the truck himself and will take it to the dump tomorrow. But...not before he takes Dallen to school in the truck with the old couches in the back. Yep, we're ghetto all right! Poor Dallen...hopefully, he doesn't realize that he should be embarrassed.

Helping with homework?

Everyday I help Dallen with his homework and thankfully this year he seems to have more challenging work. When I help him with spelling, I usually over-enunciate so he can hear all the letters and spell it correctly. Well, tonight was no different. I was helping him study for his spelling test and I was reading off the words from the list. MASK - mmm...aaaa...ssss....kuh; SAD - ssss...aaaa...duh; HAS - hah...aaaa...zzuh; AS - aaaa...sssss. I covered my mouth and started to crack up. Dallen, innocent as he is, didn't get it and wanted me to explain why I was laughing. No, 'as' is not pronounced 'ass'. Two totally different things. I shook my head, stopped laughing and went on to the next word.

Potty Diary, entry 3:

• Austen is on his fourth full day of no accidents.

Vindictive observation:

• Even if you're dog tired and say that repeatedly over and over after your husband comes home, he can still - with clear conscience - lay on the couch and snore while you feed the kids and clean up after them. No amount of "busy noise" you do around him motivates him to get off the couch. These are the days you just wonder, why?!!

Austen, the preschool years...

We usually start our kids in preschool at 3 years of age. Since Dallen went to Alphabetland, I applied there but was disappointed when Austen got waitlisted. So, he started off at Kamaaina Kids in August 2007 because I was at a point where I just could not stay home with him on a daily basis and keep my sanity. I was a few months pregnant at the time and was petrified that I would have a new baby, Brennen, AND Austen at home with me. But luckily a space opened up at Alphabetland in January 2008 and we moved him to that school. He had adjustment issues at both schools but eventually thrived at Alphabetland. Then, we got the notice that Austen was accepted to Kamehameha preschool. I have to admit that I didn't want him to go because I was worried about having him go through yet another adjustment period - oh, and he's wasn't toilet trained yet. But, Lad felt that it would be a money saver as well as an opportunity to take advantage of the "Queen's legacy". Okie dokie then...

Monday was his official first day at Kamehameha preschool. He is part of the Pakalana class. His first 2 weeks consists of a special schedule to help him adjust to the new school. The good thing about this school is that everyone is new - to the school and to the class. Anyway, the school year starts off with the teacher and the aide coming to our home to do a home visit. Then on Monday, he went to school from 10:00-10:30 with only 4 other kids. I got to stay with him that day. Today, he went from 8:30-10:00 with a total of 10 kids. On Friday, he'll go from 8:30-11:00 with the same 10 kids. Next week for 2 days, they will be with their 10 kids group but stay for lunch on one day, then lunch and 15 minute nap the next. On Friday, the whole class (20 kids) will come to class with the lunch and 15 minute nap schedule. They will go full time (8:30-2:30) starting Monday, August 18th.

Having been accustomed to other preschool programs, a lot of things about Kamehameha preschool has surprised me. They seem to treat the preschool like they would any other "regular" school class. They have a school year of August - June and the hours are only from 8:30-2:30. They also have the kids write/draw in their journal daily and they have a daily reading log. It's good and will probably help him get used to the whole "school" thing but you know the first thing I thought of - "what am I going to do with all 4 of them next summer????"

Here's Austen in his classroom. It's a really nice classroom - very clean and neat. Maybe because it's not seen the kids yet. HA! They have 2 computers in the room - the kids will have 15 minutes of computer time a day working with reading software. They have a Home Center which is that big wood thing you see in the picture. There's a "stair" ladder and is arranged like a regular "house" - Austen's eyes lit up with that. Each child was given their own pencil box with their own crayons, pens, and glue which they keep in the cubby hole above the one with their other belongings (see picture) They serve hot lunch everyday and their AC runs all day, all night. Luckily, there is a bathroom right in the classroom. Whew!

Overall, Austen seems to like it, despite his facial expression. (Lately, he's been doing that eyebrow eye thing when we take any kind of picture) Lad said that Austen didn't cry or cling when he got dropped off this morning. But, the parents (or whoever drops off in the morning) is encouraged to stay awhile to do their journal every morning. Lad is like "WHAT?!!" but he stayed and drew a family picture with Austen this morning. When I picked him up at 10:00, he asked me "why you come now?" - I didn't quite understand the question, but eventually gathered that he wouldn't have minded staying a bit more. Oh, did I mention the playground?

The playground area is fabulous! When he first saw it on Monday, Austen was in awe and in love! The deal was to go to class then afterwards, we could stay awhile to play. DEAL! The area itself is large, beautifully kept, and very comfortable with lots of grass and trees. There is a big play structure on cushy padding, then up on the hill there are 4 swings + 1 tire swing again on cushy padding, and then there is a sand"house" with lots of toy trucks and shovels for the kids to use. Austen and Brennen had a wonderful time playing afterschool. Dallen saw these pictures and said it wasn't fair that he didn't get to go to pick up Austen.

Even though at times he's shy, he wasn't at all today on the tire swing. This girl (about Dallen's age) was playing with her little brother (a fellow preschooler) and Austen invited himself on the swing and kept telling her "faster, faster!" But she was really sweet and they both seemed to enjoy his company too.

The Potty Diaries 2

So, we started on July 30th in "serious toilet training mode" with the gun to our heads with the start of his new preschool year looming. Here we are going into the eighth day and Austen is doing very well! This surprised me, the skeptic. But, I'm exhausted. Toilet training is not for sissies! I feel like I'm spending my life either in the bathroom, asking about the need to use the bathroom, and handing out goodies for the successful use of the bathroom.

He has been in underwear all day everyday since last Wednesday and has gone from the first three to four days with accidents - #1 and #2. Fast forward to today where he is going on his 3rd day accident free. Leaps and bounds! Since yesterday, he has started to tell me that he needs to go or even going by himself. He even stands up to pee now whereas he used to sit. He has even gone through nap time with a dry underwear.

Although it seems like we've been going at it for a long time, it's really only been a week. So for all the many years of diapers and pull-ups, I'm on the verge of saying that Austen is toilet trained. The real test is at school where he is busy doing things and the toilet is far from his mind. I told him that we cannot pee or poo in our pants at school - only in the toilet. He says "okay" but you never know if he truly understands. Luckily, Kamehameha has a gradual schedule for introducing the preschool year so he goes every other day and stays at school only an hour on one day, 2 the next, 3 and lunch, 3 and lunch and 15 minute naptime, etc. So technically, I have 2 more weeks to continue the training...

I now know what it's like to drop everything and head for the bathroom. Yesterday, we went to Daiei to shop for groceries and Austen says he needs to go to the "baffroom". So, I told Lad to take him - he asks Austen, "Do you have to go now? Can you hold it? Hold it, okay?" I'm like "take him now - he says he needs to go - TAKE HIM!" So reluctantly Lad walks clear across the store to the bathroom. They come back (after a successful pee) and not 5 minutes later Austen says that he needs to go "doo doo". Lad scowls, tells him he just went - I tell him take him now!! So they go and there's a successful poo. I'm not sure Lad gets it but I'm telling you, I live and die with the pee/poo!

Now, I have to find some elastic waist shorts for him to wear to school because buttons aren't going to cut it!